we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
