i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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