i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
