I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
