Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
