Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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