I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize