Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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