we have officially lost it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
