i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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