did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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