i don't like sucking hair
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
