He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
