She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
