I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
