I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
