One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize