A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
