there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
