My underwear smells like fireworks.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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