Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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