Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
