haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
