So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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