I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
