Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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