you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
