thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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