New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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