spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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