We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize