Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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