The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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