so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
