yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
