yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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