It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize