redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
