Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
