She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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