i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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