Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
