Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
