He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
