That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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