Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
