either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
