I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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