also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
