I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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