she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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