I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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