You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
