Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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