All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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