i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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