Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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