TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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