so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
