Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
