My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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