do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
